I have recently published a new book entitled Transcending Post-Infidelity Stress Disorder: The Six Stages of Healing. The book is about surviving the trauma of discovering your partner's infidelity. I offer practical advice and insights that can aid in recovery. I have tried to integrate both the psychological and the spiritual in my approach to healing. I believe that ultimately the wound is healed through the power or forgiveness. You can order my book on Amazon. It will be available in bookstores in June.
Dr. Dennis
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I was listening to Audrey Chapman WHUR Radio. I lost the love of my life, my college sweet heart and best freind to infidelity. I said the words, "let's get over it. Just don't do it again. Inside I was not able to mask my real feelings well. It did not take much for me to keep reminding her what she did and she left me. I was on the verge of suicide. it took the writing of a song as thrapy. Although I miss her in y life I have to go on with the many great memories. She has decided to never see or hear from me again and has done a superb job of it. I asked her good freind why she is like this. I was told that my exwife found it very difficult to come home every night and look me in the eyes, knowing what she did to me. I believe I'm suffering post traumatic stress disorder. She is a hard act to follow.
ReplyDeleteLOST IN A PAST LOVE.
Dr. Ortman, I found your blog and decided to post this message and to ask your opinion. I live in the Atlanta Metro Area. First I want to address Marlon's post in case he checks back with your blog.
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Marlon, you may not get this message but I hope you do. I am sorry to hear of your loss. While there is no replacement for the love of your life, please know that God can help you heal as well as friends and often strangers who have experienced the same loss. Spending time volunteering with a charity or taking up a new hobby might fill some of the void in your life. Staying busy helps! Marlon, I WILL pray for you. You are a great inspiration to others by the forgiveness you extended to your ex-girlfriend. Forgiving doesn't always mean that you forget right away, but it does release you from the chains of moving forward. It is my hope that you have found some peace and resolve since July 25. I believe the deeper we love, the harder we fall. I had the same situation with the added burden of living with an alcoholic husband. I found peace after several years. I divorced my ex although I still loved him. After many times of picking him up after dui charges, drunken acts at my kids sports events, etc., it was time to give up. Nothing helped...therapy, rehabs, etc. after age 50, my ex finally got the help he needed and lives with his wife since 1997 and his father. It took many decades for his recovery. I am proud for him and his family. I encourage my grown children to see him and his father and wife every chance they get. Lost years can't be made up, but new smiles will bring about good change and happy times.
I found this blog while searching for nightmare posts/help. Google brought up this site.
To Dr. Dennis Ortman...
In 1985, I was broken in on and robbed by a drug-crazed man who kicked my front door in, grabbed me around the neck and put a gun to my head while demanding money. I was shot at, kicked, etc. while home recovering from back surgery. It was around lunchtime. My husband was at work. My parents and in-laws were keeping my children from out of town while I recovered from the recent surgery. It was very upsetting. I had nightmares and would walk in my sleep without remembering anything the next morning. I hit my head up against walls, broke things, etc. I was never a violent person. It was way out of my character to behave that way. My doctor said I needed to move and change my environment, so I did. He said I might hurt one of my kids or myself if I didn't move. I carried a registered weapon with me around the house for a while. I was still afraid the guy might come back since I could identify him. Recently, I have had really bad reoccurring dreams and nightmares about this. I have had fear and anxiety during the day while staying at home by myself. If anyone knocks or rings the doorbell, I am afraid. Why would I have these feelings and fears after so many years since the break-in?
Is there anyone out there anymore
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